Natural Ways to Heal Through Grief and Loss

We live in a world that doesn’t stop for anything. Grief is often relegated to a weekend, as if that is all the slack we are allowed to get over a devastating loss.

In truth, it can take up to two years to process through the loss of a child, spouse, a dear friend or a treasured family pet. Loss creates a hole in our lives that we can seldom fill.

Don’t Fast Forward Through Grief

Avoidance only serves to lock your emotions deeper into your psyche and into your body. Once buried deep, it takes a lot of work to access this later in life.
Perhaps you are familiar with the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Kubler-Ross is known for her ‘Five Stages of Grief’ a map of the healthy grieving process. She began observing the progression of emotions that was part of the healing process with her patients and their families during the final phases of terminal illness.

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

What she noticed was that we don’t always go through the stages of grief in the same order or even one at a time. What we do without exception, go through them all.

Not as well-known is the work of Dr. Manfred Clynes and his study of the emotional states using a technology called a ‘Sentograph’. ‘Three In One Concepts’ a branch of Applied Kinesiology, furthered this study into a card system to map the movement of a full emotional cycle.

Muscle testing (Applied, Specialized or Behavioural Kinesiology) is a way of discerning with subtly, exactly where the flows of emotions are stuck, why, and then what you can do to get ‘unstuck’.

Natural resources for easing the healing process

Emotions are a powerful moving force. Grief often feels like being hit with never ending tidal waves. You cannot and should not try and fast forward through the powerful process of grief. You will pay a big price for this. When is comes to grief and loss, it is the ‘stuck’ that creates a health problem.
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The Healing Power of Flower Essences

Bach flower essences can identify the theme around our emotions, and taking these energy healers can ease the resistance and pain.

  • Agrimony is for when you put a false face on to hide the emotions underneath.
  • Mustard is your doom and gloom dark cloud of emotion and feeling depressed.
  • Willow is for when you are caught in self-pity.
  • Mimulus is for when you are caught in terror or panic.
  • White Chestnut when your thoughts are going around and around like clothes in a dryer.
  • Red Chestnut eases the bonds between individuals when you just can’t let go.
  • Gorse can be used when despondency is the presenting state.
  • Pine is for feelings of guilt that you can’t shake.
  • Star of Bethlehem is for shock.
  • Rock Water is for feelings of resentment.
  • Honeysuckle is for anger.
  • Holly can restore our sense of appreciation and love of life and help us to feel connected again.

A full healing process may involve any or all of the 39 Flower Essences as you go through the first few days or weeks.

Homeopathic and Herbal Support

Homeopathics can be a great help as the 200k potencies address the ‘mental body’ stuckness and can open the flow, especially at the front end when you are feeling shock or numbness.

Ignatia Amara will help you shift your state from stuck in loss to flow.

Pulsatilla can help ease your emotions when the mood swings are huge.

Bryonia is ‘the bear’ and can ease the emotions when a person is lashing out at others. Gelsemium is perfect for those who internalize their grief and experience headaches or body pain.

Sepia can help when irritation and short temperedness is the presenting state.

(If you are pregnant or nursing, I would caution the use of homeopathics.)

Nutrition and herbs can help keep you together during the front end of grief.

Flora Cal Mag is my first choice. This fortifies your whole energy field and supports your nervous system.

Valerian and Passiflora can help build your nerve force during times of shock and grief. 

Giving Yourself Time to Heal

In her movie ‘Truth or Dare’ Madonna was on tour and she got some devastating news that pushed her right into grief. The pressure that ‘the show must go on’ only added to her burden. She cancelled the show and gave herself a set period of time to wallow in her grief. She stayed in a dark room and let the world fall away. She wallowed! She gave herself permission to grieve for 24 hours without apology or interference.

We never really get over a deep loss. Yet, time is the great healer, and with time, the loss creates the distance that makes the loss more bearable. You will know you are healing when you catch yourself remembering a joyful moment that you shared with your loved one. You can celebrate what this relationship has brought you and feel blessed and grateful for having them in your life, even if they walked with us for too short a time.

A Clarion Call from our Soul

Life is for the living. For me it is the transient nature of life that adds to the richness of the ‘bittersweet’ experience. I believe our lives are made  richer by having these souls among us. Given a choice, I choose the pain of loss, rather than embrace the numbness of emptiness.

We too are just passing through. The journey through grief is often a clarion call from our soul, that a deeper reflection is required.

What do you believe about yourself; what do you believe about the world you live in? Are you caught in point of view that no longer serves? Is your soul requesting a deeper sorting process; a deeper healing?

In the words of Shakespeare, through Juliet…

“And yet I wish for but the thing I have.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep. The more I give to thee,

The more I have –

for both are infinite”

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Disclaimer: All information in this article is for education purposes only. If you have health issues, please contact a reliable and qualified health care provider.
Bio PicNelda McEwen has been practicing as a Medical Intuitive in SW Ontario for over 25 years; counselling individuals and families, as well as offering her signature ICH training to other Medical Intuitives in the health field. Nelda’s professional research has been acknowledged and published in the Professional Kinesiology Practitioners Manual. The PKP program is recognized through the International Kinesiology College of Zurich Switzerland.

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