When I was growing up I lived in a home filled with a lot of contention, especially between my parents. My mom, bless her heart, put a huge amount of effort into the baking and gift buying. She blew all the stops. She carried the burden of Christmas single handed. This added to the stress in the home. I think she sincerely wanted to create good memories for us.
Yet the uncomfortable smoulder of strife in the home would burst into open flame at Christmas. My mom’s reaction was to leave her usual style of passive aggressive manipulation and attempt to seize absolute control of everything and everybody. My dad’s reaction was to stop participating.
With three rebellious teens in the home sparks would fly. We kids had to figure out really fast, which side of this great divide we were on. No one wanted to get caught in the middle.
Gird your loins for ‘the most uncomfortable time of the year’Christmas, puts a magnifying glass on everything about our lives. We get a few days to really ponder what we value most in our lives, and if our lives really reflect that. Christmas intensifies our feeling about everything.
We get to appreciate our relationships, or ponder relationships or loved ones we have lost. Christmas is a bittersweet time for some people and the most difficult time of the year for many.I don’t like excess. I don’t like waste or greed; these fly against my core values. I value simplicity. I value friendship. I value beauty. What I love to do is pick up little things here and there, over the year to gift during the holidays.
I love to make handmade little gifts and treats. I like to hang out with relaxed people and enjoy their company. I like eating and drinking fun stuff, but try to keep within moderation.
My motto is ‘Less is More’.
Evolving TraditionsWhen my daughter was in her early teens, I sat her down and asked her ‘what were the key things that made Christmas, special for her.
- Tree – no
- Decorations – yes
- Big gift – no
- Stockings filled in stealth – yes
- Turkey – NO
- Ham – NO
- Eat anything we want – YES
- Tangerine oranges – YES
- Fun treats – YES
- Little gag gifts – YES
- Secret Santa – YES
- Open one gift Christmas Eve – YES
- Traditional Music – NO
Now that all my little chickens in my home are grown, what I love most about the holiday season is the quietness.
Just for a very short time, the whole world takes a breath.
I treat this as a potent time to dive deep into prayer and meditation. This is a perfect time to re-evaluate and re-calibrate.
The Shortest Day and Longest NightI celebrate the longest night. I do no baking; little cooking. I decorate hardly at all. All of the traditions of the past have fallen away.
My personal tradition is to look at this time of year as an invitation to enter into the matters of the soul; what I have achieved, what I have left undone.
I get to review if my actions have reflected my deepest intentions.
- What are my highest intentions and desires for the New Year?
- What are my priorities?
- What are my deepest intentions for this year?
With this in mind, I wish you a heart-felt Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.Nelda McEwen has been practicing as a Medical Intuitive in SW Ontario for over 25 years; counselling individuals and families, as well as offering her signature ICH training to other Medical Intuitives in the health field. Nelda’s professional research has been acknowledged and published in the Professional Kinesiology Practitioners Manual. The PKP program is recognized through the International Kinesiology College of Zurich Switzerland.