Heads up boys and girls… this is personal. I have been getting some lessons for the last couple of years from a four-footed-horse friend who has been teaching me about herd-life, leadership and energy communication.

Mr. Face is a cheeky little gelding who has no trouble showing me my many shortcomings.

If I do not measure up as the best leader, he has no problem letting me know by taking over the show.

Master horse trainer Marlis Amato calls this “The Kindness of Equine”.

I have been taught many social skills in my lifetime. Many of these have stood the test of time and hard roads. But the one thing that the school of hard knocks has never prepared me for was kindness, towards myself or others.

In my crazy tribe, we valued the acid wit, the assassin’s strike, the un-provable crime, sarcasm and generally all the stuff that people pull when they crave control when they are fearful.

People get caught up in the polarity of right and wrong, good and bad. When harsh judgement rears its ugly head, virtues like compassion and gentleness go right out the window.

I see it like this; judgement is a very low vibration; something in the fear zone. This is being caught in polarity. There is no middle ground. You are right or you are wrong; good or bad. To develop this further, you being not ok makes me feel better about myself. Now I am ok. If you feel better about yourself, then I am less ok.

I know this is weird. This is what is underneath poor behaviour when we try to take other people down a peg. Being harsh or cruel is hard to justify. Most of our time is spent in rationalization and justification. It sucks a huge amount of our energy and attention.

Discernment is something an amoeba is capable of. Rather than seeing a person or circumstance as right or wrong, we can say ‘This experience is for me’ or ‘I am moving away from this experience because it isn’t for me’. If you are leaving a relationship what you can say is ‘this just isn’t working for me anymore’. Right or wrong, good or bad just doesn’t enter into the equation at all.

Compassion is the recognition that ‘there I go but for the grace of God’. All of us are bumbling through life the best we can, using the resources we have at any given time. Compassion, or unconditional love is the great equalizer in the human condition. This is where the ‘gentle muscle’ really serves us well.

With gentleness and the acceptance that come with it, we don’t need to posture, push or strive. We don’t need to judge or react. Criticizing others in this way is a complete waste of time.

Horses are prey animals. They are a hungry lion’s idea of fast food. When horses are looking for leadership, they choose the calmest and quietest mare in the herd. She is the one who will let the herd know when it is safe to rest and relax. For horses, kindness leads to feelings of safety.

It is too bad that the human animal doesn’t understand this.

I have a question for you:

Which trait gives humans the survival edge; survival of the fittest or survival of the kindest?

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Nelda McEwen has been practicing as a Medical Intuitive in SW Ontario for over 25 years; counselling individuals and families, as well as offering her signature ICH training to other Medical Intuitives in the health field. Nelda’s professional research has been acknowledged and published in the Professional Kinesiology Practitioners Manual. The PKP program is recognized through the International Kinesiology College of Zurich Switzerland.